Questions About Reading, 32-35

A word that cannot describe me.

A word that cannot describe me.

32. Do you read in bed?
33. Do you read on the toilet?
34. Do you read in the car?
35. Do you read in the bath? (via)

Ah, this question. I know that’s four questions, but, “Ah, this question.” I’ve noticed people tend to be opinionated about these, but opinionated in pretty much the opposite way that I am. This is hardly surprising, given my absolute goal to be different and unusual.

32. I have been known to read in bed on occasion, but I do not like to read in bed. So no. I know there are whole sites dedicated to the joys of reading in bed, but I’ve yet to find any.

For the last six months, my living arrangement has necessitated that I spend most of my free hours sitting on my bed, and I dislike it immensely. It is uncomfortable. Things constantly fall over. There’s nowhere to put my legs. My arms ache. Reading in bed is an uncomfortable strain and I can never find anywhere to put myself . Even that picture, which I imagine is supposed to look cozy and inviting, just looks uncomfortable and I’m all in a knot waiting for her to knock that mug over. Bed is for sleeping, no more and no less. Don’t ask me to have anything else to do with it. I do not like to be supine, I prefer ergonomic design. I do not wish to lie down and read, a chair and a desk is what I need!

Breaking news... this is gross!

Breaking news… this is gross!

As for number 33, this disturbs me to such an extent that I’m really struggling to even use this picture, which has been on my hard drive since about 2004 but I digress. That’s Jude Law and Ewan McGregor, who were roommates, doing a piece for some British magazine that likes to include pictures of actors who are friends behaving as though they are roommates. I guess. Anyway. *shudder* Toilet reading. Disgusting. Right. Okay, I do not read on the toilet for about seven thousand reasons. I find it completely unnecessary and distasteful, a degradation of books and a disservice to the human body. (Seriously, look it up. The American medical association or some such organization has found that reading on the toilet can lead to an increased instance of hemorrhoids.) Everything about this question embarrasses and horrifies me. Now if you’ll allow me to wash off thoroughly before continuing to the next.

34. Yes, I read in the car and have never understood not reading in the car. I didn’t even know such people existed until I was about 15. I’ve read metric tons of pages in the car. I also read on trains, planes, and ferries. If I don’t have a book, I’ll probably read whatever might be handily in front of me, such as the instruction manual for the glove box. When my sister and I were little, even sundown didn’t hinder reading in the backseat as we would get Dad to drive in front of a big truck, hold our books up to the back window, and read away. My flashlight was my most precious possession growing up because it enabled reading in those sorts of circumstances. (An addendum to earlier, even with flashlight, I preferred reading on the floor to reading on the bed.)

February 9: Read in the bath day

February 9: Read in the bath day

35. Finally, reading in the bath. Absolutely. Reading in the bath is one of my very preferred joys. First of all, a state of more perfect comfort does not exist than being submerged in hot water, which is not a state you’d think I’d choose given my terror of drowning and of deep water. But baths are different. They are secure, nonjudgmental, loving creatures who will camouflage your tears, warm your chills, and allow for completely undistracted reading until thermodynamics finishes its cruel work and the water gets cold.

8 thoughts on “Questions About Reading, 32-35

  1. LOL! Hilarious post. I read in all those places.

    I DEFINITELY read in bed. I was brought up on reading in bed before lights out so it is now such a part of my daily habit that I usually can’t fall asleep until I read something.

    I read on the toilet, but only because my husband does. I never did before I married him. But now he has a magazine rack next to the toilet where he puts all his stuff and I always pick one up and read it now. So, left to myself, I probably wouldn’t, but I can’t help it when reading material is so close!

    I *sometimes* read in the car. I can’t be in the backseat or I get car sick. I can sit in the front and read, but I’ll rarely do that if my husband is driving because we have some of the best convos when he drives. If he’s mad at me and not talking, I definitely read 🙂

    And the bath…oh the bath! I agree with everything you say. There’s nothing better than reading in the bath. It creates the most content relaxed feeling. I wish I had more time to do it. Last winter, I tried to make myself do it at least every other week, but it only ended up being about 4 times. Now it’s too warm. We have a sauna in our gym that I bring books into and that kind of gives the same feeling, but it’s almost a fake feeling. It’s nice, but not private and you’re not submerged in water so you just get the warmth and the reading.

    • It’s very true, I’ve largely given up on car reading because I’m either driving or don’t want to be rude to the person who is driving. But I was always very blessed in that I almost never get motion sickness. But driving around talking is also too awesome to give up.

      I have occasionally taken hot chocolate into a hot bath on the hottest days of the year, though usually what stops me is having housemates look at me askance. A hot bath on a warm day has its own pleasure because bathing with a window open is nice, and there’s no distracting chill when you get out of the tub. On the other hand, there’s the whole getting way overheated part that is less pleasurable.

          • So you really don’t think you’d start reading in the bathroom, even if it was right there? I just don’t think I can resist reading if anything is within my arm’s reach.

            • I think that’s really where my hangup is, I just think it’s gross to keep reading things in a bathroom and so I’d never have anything in there to tempt me. And if I’m in someone else’s bathroom, I’m doubly focused on being as quick as possible, even in the unlikely event that I saw something at hand I’d even want to read.

              That and I only ever want to stop on an even chapter, so even when I take a book in with me to read in the tub, I just wait until I’m in the tub before I open it. I have lots of obsessive compulsions, lol.

  2. Mom says:

    My goodness all this talk about where to read! I have to agree with Mm. about reading in bed. Although I do (just a little) but only enough to go to sleep (about a page ,if the page ends with a period. If I can’t stop there, then I have to get up and read (for a hour or more) in the recliner in my library room. I’m a shower person, so no reading there, but I do like to read while watching TV.

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